Announcement; No Fruit for You; High Culture Meets Low Morals
This is just to say that Japey will be on hiatus for a few more days as he works on his taxes. If anyone has any suggestions on how to justify $7,622 in deductions for butter and $2,550 for feminine hygiene, leave them in the comments below. Also, I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast. Forgive me. They were delicious, so sweet and so cold. So just take a fucking chill pill and have some Honey Nut Cheerios, OK?
In the meantime, may I suggest that you use this time to pay a visit to the randiest, raunchiest, potty-mouthiest genius in the history of music: Shit-Talking Beethoven (@ShitTalkingLVB). Remember to speak loudly and clearly. It might be a good idea to bring some condoms, too, because you just never know. Note: If you’re young enough to be taking Suzuki violin lessons, or naps after story time, STB is probably not for you.
Thank you — I can never remember how that poem ends. We only got the abridged version in school because the “strong language” in the last line was considered “inappropriate”.
Those are valid and awesome deductions. By they way, “valid” with the letters rearranged spells “Valdi.”
Wicked, huh?
YOU ATE MY PLUMS???!!! GGRRRAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Son of a BITCH!!!
NOT MY PLUMS! MY PLUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMS!!!!
This is when being good in deduction is better than induction, logically and financially speaking. Have fun!
Shit-Talking Beethoven sounds like my kind of cat… I’ll be looking him up!