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The Five People You Meet in Heaven

February 10, 2011


Doug
Cathy
Wayne L.
Paula
Wayne R.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 10, 2011 6:20 am

    I hope one of them is good at Jenga.

    • February 10, 2011 1:45 pm

      No. All Jenga players go to Hell!

    • February 10, 2011 5:05 pm

      Ohh, sorry! They’re all double amputees. It’s a lesser-known Divine loophole: “Lose two, come on through!” And St. Peter confiscates all metal objects, prosthetics, and containers with more than 3 oz. of liquid as you pass through the Pearly Gates. But Wayne L. will be delighted to regale you for hours with his views on why there’ll never be another like FDR, Betty Grable, or the Studebaker (“Now, that was a car!”).

  2. February 10, 2011 1:44 pm

    Not Morrie or Mitch?

    • February 10, 2011 5:14 pm

      No. As a righteous Jew, Morrie went to his reward in Miami Beach. Mitch, on the other hand, went to a “different” place: Remainders Purgatory, where he was marked with a black felt-tip pen on the bottom of his foot and thrown haphazardly into a large bin with Dan Brown and the Ya-Ya Sisterhood woman.

      • February 10, 2011 5:50 pm

        oh. I how I wish I could be in remainder purgatory as well.

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