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Overly Possessive Pronouns

March 23, 2011

Mine: Puts name labels on everything.

His: Silently calculates and monitors everyone’s allotment of pizza slices at dinner.

Hers: Complains that it’s 6:04, but you said you’d be home at 6:00.

Ours: Carefully folds and saves all the gift wrap from Christmas morning.

Yours: Insists that it needs your e-mail password “for your own safety.”

Its: Keeps adding apostrophe to itself incorrectly, just to send a message.

Theirs: Demands to know who that guy was you were talking to over there, even though it was the funeral director.

Whose: Won’t share its tube of Pringles. And this after you gave it one of your kidneys.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. March 25, 2011 4:08 pm

    Excessively possessive pronouns.

    Oddly, I feel a strange connection to some of them. I may know them. Or may be one….

    • March 25, 2011 4:51 pm

      Ha, thanks for reading. I don’t want to be known as just the Hipster Crayola guy.

      • Bren permalink
        March 27, 2011 2:14 pm

        In reading blogs by the Hipster Crayola guy, I’ve been catapulted ever so unceremoniously into the fact that, yes, the self-absorbed pronoun I is not Hipster I. Alas.

  2. March 27, 2011 2:25 pm

    Too bad they don’t have a button for “Love”. I love this post. This one and the Crayola one remind me of MOUNTAIN MAN DANCE MOVES — a BELIEVER book.

  3. infinite monkey theorem permalink
    April 7, 2011 10:52 am

    Been to group dinners with that pizza person…I went ahead and got the salad. Seems the only way to piss them off more than taking a couple of branch chain amino acids morepizza than “pizza monitor” has calculated your entitled to, is to smile and eat leaves instead!

  4. aira ysabel mariquit permalink
    January 19, 2012 4:43 am

    hi!!!i am aira ysabel mariquit i am a grade 4 student and i am 10 years old right now.i want to research a”25 possessive pronouns.thank you for appreciating and god bless

    • January 19, 2012 9:05 am

      Dear Aira:

      Thanks for your note. I am delighted to see that my blog is clearly reaching its key demographic. Be cool, stay in school, or you’ll end up like me. Also: boys are all after one thing and one thing only, and that’s chewing gum.

      Best wishes,
      Japey

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