Overly Possessive Pronouns
March 23, 2011
Mine: Puts name labels on everything.
His: Silently calculates and monitors everyone’s allotment of pizza slices at dinner.
Hers: Complains that it’s 6:04, but you said you’d be home at 6:00.
Ours: Carefully folds and saves all the gift wrap from Christmas morning.
Yours: Insists that it needs your e-mail password “for your own safety.”
Its: Keeps adding apostrophe to itself incorrectly, just to send a message.
Theirs: Demands to know who that guy was you were talking to over there, even though it was the funeral director.
Whose: Won’t share its tube of Pringles. And this after you gave it one of your kidneys.
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japecake 
Excessively possessive pronouns.
Oddly, I feel a strange connection to some of them. I may know them. Or may be one….
Ha, thanks for reading. I don’t want to be known as just the Hipster Crayola guy.
In reading blogs by the Hipster Crayola guy, I’ve been catapulted ever so unceremoniously into the fact that, yes, the self-absorbed pronoun I is not Hipster I. Alas.
Too bad they don’t have a button for “Love”. I love this post. This one and the Crayola one remind me of MOUNTAIN MAN DANCE MOVES — a BELIEVER book.
Thanks! You can actually read a recent McSweeney’s list of mine here.
Been to group dinners with that pizza person…I went ahead and got the salad. Seems the only way to piss them off more than taking a couple of branch chain amino acids morepizza than “pizza monitor” has calculated your entitled to, is to smile and eat leaves instead!
hi!!!i am aira ysabel mariquit i am a grade 4 student and i am 10 years old right now.i want to research a”25 possessive pronouns.thank you for appreciating and god bless
Dear Aira:
Thanks for your note. I am delighted to see that my blog is clearly reaching its key demographic. Be cool, stay in school, or you’ll end up like me. Also: boys are all after one thing and one thing only, and that’s chewing gum.
Best wishes,
Japey