Demonic Possessions (College Dorm Edition)
April 12, 2011
Pure evil futon
Hellish bricks-and-boards bookshelf
Satanic lava lamp
Godless Phish poster
Accursed cube refrigerator
Sin-steeped, half-empty case of ramen noodles
Stygian second-place forensics trophy
Infernal shoe box full of pizza coupons, stale clove cigarettes, and expired novelty condoms
Black-hearted afghan from Grandma (in school colors)
Luciferian, never-opened copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (gift from ex)
Eternally damned Vermont Teddy Bear dressed as a bumblebee (gift from ex)
Souls (in stackable crates)
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japecake 
I’ve slept on a pure evil futon, and the first few days aren’t that evil, but you really start to notice the evil after a week.
Don’t let the Prince of Darkness fool you. He has a bad back and sleeps on a Tempur-Pedic.
This is hell? This dorm room looks like a palace compared to the converted WW2 barracks we had.
One’s definition of hell depends entirely on one’s roommates.