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Monopoly® Token Secrets

May 12, 2011


Shoe: Once went on a three-day bender and woke up suspended from a telephone wire

Battleship: Suffers from acute aquaphobia

Thimble: Cheated on SAT (Sewing Aptitude Test)

Top hat: Fired by magician after one too many unexplained rabbit deaths

Man on horse: At home, the roles are reversed

Cannon: Has to take Viagra before every game

Wheelbarrow: Was previously a wagon, had to pawn three wheels to support coke habit

Dog: Goes to cat bars on weekends

Race car: More like racist car

Iron: Once attempted suicide by deliberately not turning self off

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. May 12, 2011 3:52 am

    Like it!

    • May 12, 2011 10:41 am

      Thanks. If you liked this, you’re gonna love it when I blow the lid off Candy Land.

  2. May 12, 2011 5:38 am

    I got my game when I was 9 years old, say 1958. It was $4, quite a hefty sum when $1 was a modest adult hourly wage. We used to use different things as tokens. I often was a key. This way I could burglarize the hotel rooms.

    • May 12, 2011 10:46 am

      I always liked the rare Eisenhower-era edition that included a third utility, the Military-Industrial Complex, but that $150 billion rent was a bitch.

  3. sonnypi67 permalink
    May 12, 2011 8:12 am

    The Indiana version of Monopoly has little pink houses… for you and me.

  4. May 12, 2011 9:43 am

    I blame that monocled sonofabitch Mr. Moneybags, workin’ those tokens like slaves. He’s like the Joe Jackson of board games.

  5. May 14, 2011 4:58 am

    Now that you mention it, that cannon does seem a little limp.

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