Your Favorite Chinese Restaurant May Not Be 100% Authentic
The “Lee’s” sign in front incorporates a cannon and a Confederate flag
You have to order the Akron duck a day in advance
The soy sauce is served in Hellman’s jars with “Hell” crossed out and “Kikko” inserted with a caret
Each time the word “Chinese” appears in the menu, it’s contained within quotation marks
After you finish your order of pot stickers, you get super mellow, but even hungrier, then giggle uncontrollably at a packet of Sweet’n Low, then fall silent at the sight of your reflection in your soup spoon
The Buddha statue in the foyer is flipping the bird
When your food arrives, the waiter lights it on fire and shouts “Opa!”
Bendy chopsticks
The Kung Pao chicken is made with circus peanuts
Chef plays joke, goes pee-pee in your Coke, doesn’t even try to hide it
Fortune pudding
Half an hour later, you feel rather full
japecake 
Probably not 100% but it’s definitely over 5%.
The burgers are usually pretty good in any Chinese restaurant that makes it into the 5th percentile.
I’m a big fan of the fried chicken and french fries.
I prefer the chicken and waffles.
Which comes first? The chicken or the Eggo?
ha i reckon your on to something!
I like it!
Thanks. And I didn’t even have to resort to a “Pu-Pu” joke.
“Fortune pudding” Hi-larious!
Talk about a mess between the sheets.
It’s true I have been wondering why I didn’t feel hungry again for days and days.
You shouldn’t have ordered the Moo Goo Gai Panda.
This brings a whole new meaning to ‘Egg ‘Drop’ Soup”. *shudder*
It’s 50 cents extra without shells.
“Which comes first? The chicken or the Eggo?”
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Bravo.
Thank you. I want to be your number-one source for breakfast-related humor.
If I see that Buddha statue flipping the bird, I will steal it!!!