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A Memo to Readers, Plus: Japey Makes His Off-Off-Under Broadway Debut

November 23, 2011

Some of you have been wondering, according to an elaborate fantasy I’ve concocted, what’s up with Japecake’s seemingly casual publication “schedule.” The fact is, Dear Reader, that Japey, as a card-carrying member of the 99%, is holding down two jobs (one full time, the second full time-ish) and subsists on little more than catnaps, coffee, adrenaline, and good looks. [Note to self: Caffeine-induced nightmares, funny aspects of—work on this.] This is in addition to numerous side projects, including development of some new blogs—that’s right, blogs, with an “s,” not a “z,” this isn’t Tiger Beat magazine. While rumors of Japey’s demise, and good looks, have been greatly exaggerated, by me, I’d rather post less often in order to make the posts I do squeeze out more worthwhile, unless you’re the type who, during their first trip to Vienna or Milan or Paris, makes a beeline for KFC or McDonald’s for lunch, in which case, I want nothing to do with you anyway. So, until Japey is ready to announce his IPO (invisible porn overcoat, now under development at the Department of Defense in collaboration with Brooks Brothers and Hustler), items will be posted about once a week, not necessarily evenly spaced, except when they are, or more or fewer items are posted within that span of time. In other words: if regularity is what you’re after, get a Rolex, or some Ex-Lax. If you really insist on reading, what I recommend, in lieu of camping out next to the computer with some Army-surplus MREs and repeatedly hitting the refresh button for days at a time, is that you subscribe, so that you will be sent a handy e-mail reminder each time a new item is posted. Think of all the extra time you’ll have to Tweet with your kids.

* * * * *

A live adaptation of Japey’s scathing indictment of loving paean to contemporary motherhood, W.O.M.B.: World’s Outstandingest Mommy Blog, will be presented by Lively Productions, in association with the Horse Trader Theater Group, as part of their ongoing monthly series of “blogologues,” this one on the theme of family and titled “Blood Is Thicker than Blogologues.” The performances will take place on Monday, November 28, at 7:30 and 9:30 p.m, at Under St. Mark’s, 94 St. Mark’s Place, New York City. Tickets are $15 and, and I quote, “include a beer,” which, one suspects, is the real point of the whole enterprise. While “Under St. Mark’s” sounds suspiciously like someone’s basement, perhaps even the basement of someone canonized by the Holy See, just think—if that same basement were an apartment in that zip code, it would cost approximately $27,615 per month to rent. Wall Street Occupiers are certainly welcome, but please note: you must hose off before entering. More information here.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. November 23, 2011 10:42 pm

    I wish I could go see “Blood Is Thicker than Blogologues”. It sounds like a good time ~ But being a poor working girl, I can’t get the time off.

    Oh, and please try to post at least once a week..I get cranky without my Japey fix! 🙂

    • November 27, 2011 6:58 am

      Thanks. As for your Japey fix, I suggest using a Japey patch between postings, but watch out for the weight gain. It’s not just a rumor.

  2. November 24, 2011 6:17 am

    Good to know what’s been going on with you. Sounds like you’re pretty busy, but glad to know we’ll hear from you regularly.

    • November 27, 2011 7:03 am

      Regularity is overrated. I mean, that lazy bastard Halley’s Comet is “regular,” if you don’t mind waiting 76 years. Must be nice to just roll into work whenever you feel like it.

  3. November 24, 2011 5:02 pm

    I think it’s good you only post once a week… any more would just be too much hilarity to handle. Congrats on Blogologues.

    • November 27, 2011 6:45 am

      Thanks. Sometimes life in this Chinese blog sweatshop just gets to me.

  4. November 26, 2011 11:31 am

    I fill the time in-between posts with my Japecake fan-fiction.

    • November 26, 2011 3:31 pm

      Ha, yes, that’s right. “Fiction.” [Looks around nervously]

  5. November 26, 2011 8:24 pm

    Awesome! Hey, I got a play all about me too! Hahaha!

    Oh Wait… Only one of us is joking…. [sobs]

    (***Sincere Congratulations!***)

    • November 27, 2011 6:43 am

      Nonsense. I saw a dinner-theater production of Les Punchies, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

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